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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26186377">your lips were the key</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnotherGayEllen/pseuds/AnotherGayEllen'>AnotherGayEllen</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Falsettos - Lapine/Finn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Cheating, Gen, In Trousers References, Introspection, Monologue, POV First Person, Pre-Canon, Trina-Centric, in trousers era</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 05:34:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>732</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26186377</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnotherGayEllen/pseuds/AnotherGayEllen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Trina knows.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Marvin/Trina (Falsettos)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>your lips were the key</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I know.</p><p>I feel like maybe I’ve known from the start. Marvin’s tries are half-assed at best, like he is worried about being found out but doesn’t try as hard as he should in being convincing. Maybe he could meet up with whomever this is that is satisfying my husband’s needs so much better than I, in between work hours instead of tiptoeing to bed after midnight. Maybe he could take a brush and a toothbrush to fix himself up before coming home. Ironing his shirt so that it wasn’t so obvious it had spent god-knows-how-long tossed on the floor also couldn’t hurt but I see how that could be asking for too much. Besides, I don’t think even that would have done much, it wasn’t how I knew anyway.</p><p>It’s difficult to put in words, but I could tell immediately, one day, when he kissed me, that there was someone else. He was different. He kissed me as if he had suddenly learned how to. Not that it was with actual tenderness or, god forbid, passion, it was simply different. It was like a switch had been turned. He had come home late that night, more so than he usually did, so I figured that’s when he must have learned it. I tried to deny it, blame it on my insecurities, claim that I had too much free time since Jason stopped both making big messes and wanting to spend time with his mother, you know how an empty mind is the devil’s workshop, but things just started to make too much sense.</p><p>One day he left the house wearing a tie clip, and when he came home, there was none. His touches that were already so few, got even rarer. And I stopped having to tell myself to believe him when he pushes me away with the excuse that he’s tired because now it seems like he really is. Did you know the other day, he wasn’t wearing his ring? I found it in the pocket of one of his suits. I didn’t take it out, I didn’t say a word, I didn’t want him to know that I knew. If he did, we would have to talk about it, and I don't think that would do any of us any good.</p><p>I feel like a joke. A tragic and hilarious image of a wife. One you’d see in one of those stories about how the American dream is nothing but a lie. Maybe it is. Maybe they’re right, I do feel like a lie. I feel like a shell of a person. I do my homely duties as clockwork, and they do make me feel some semblance of normal, or, in the very least, of being useful. But I can’t help but laugh sometimes when I do this thing where, when I catch my mind slipping to my husband’s infidelity, or my son’s bitterness, I immediately try to shut it out with thoughts like <em>how nice, my roses will soon be in bloom</em> or <em>wow, isn’t the sunshine just lovely</em> or some shallow bullshit like that. I actually laugh, out loud, because it is just so pathetic, isn’t it? My life is falling apart around me, and here I am, trying to distract myself with pretty things instead because I would rather do that than having to actually face the truth.</p><p>Actually, I should have seen it coming. I think maybe he was never mine. It always seemed like he finds me disgusting. I know I don’t exactly astound, but I didn’t think I was so unbearably undesirable. I thought perhaps he could just be insecure about sex (god knows he’s not the best at it) or even have a very low sex drive, I didn’t think that he was lonely. When the cheating started it was like life laughed at my face and said <em>no, it’s just you, it was always you</em>. I may have been everything he wanted in a wife and mother but in a woman? Not even close. So I will focus on that. There are some things bigger than ourselves. Keeping my family together is the most important thing. My life is being a mother, my life is being a wife, and I will hold onto that with claws and teeth, whatever that takes. I just hope Marvin is willing to do the same.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I know this is a pretty basic pre canon trina fic but I can't stop listening to your lips and me and this ended up nicer than I thought it would so here ya go, please give me your thoughts on it &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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